As much as it’s all about the journey and not the destination, and you don’t have to know where it takes you to enjoy the ride, there’s smething to be said for a little periodic reflection on the big picture. One classmate recently encouraged me to find my North Star and keep following it.
I do want to get married and have children. I still think that marriage is a valuable institution, and that having a child should be the greatest thing you think there is to do if you are going to do it. My facebook feed today has had a few baby pictures, an engagement, and a breakup just now. I’m not sure if I’m getting old or not, but I am sure that I’m in no rush. When the marriage certificate, the celebration, and the rite merely reflect the truth that has already taken place in the heart, I’ll know I am ready. More than ever, i realize it’s not about finding someone you’d like to marry and fall in love with them, it’s about falling in love and then realizing wow, you want to marry him. I think some of us tend to put the cart before the horse on that one, and protect our hearts from things that won’t last by having stupid lists. Well, I’m not one of those people anymore. Knowing and being true to myself, I can be open to destiny without losing my own values.
I’m not sure where I want to live or if I want to live somewhere for a long time. In fact, hopefully I’ll have a very mobile job and husband, and we will be able to travel around the world in the ultimate homeschooling adventure at some point. Before that, I hope me and the dude I decide to spend a life with take some time out ourselves for a long vacation dedicated to getting to know each other, and that the dude will be down for big moves from time to time. Or, if the person I fall in love with isn’t, maybe it won’t be quite so dramatic, but at the least he will have to be somewhat open and think it’s a cool idea.
As far as a job, that’s still working itself out. I have some ideas, but ultimately I think that family and making the most out of life are more important than a job. I also think I’m doing my life’s work everyday already. Probably the thing I prize the most from a job is the ability to do my own thing, at my own pace, in my own time. But I do also like to work with people, so we will see. I know I will keep on making my unique contribution to the world whatever job I end up getting, and that the world needs me somehow, plus I’m awesome, so I will figure something out there. I would eventually like to teach at a university, or build my own, in addition to having some real-world projects in the fire.
Where do I want to be? Well, I’d like to go back to Paris, next. Or somewhere else close to an airport in Europe, but ideally Paris. I do still hope I find a fabulous life partner soon who will travel around the world with me and have a ton of fun before having kids, and then have a ton of fun after having kids with. At that point I’d be down to live closer to my parents, or far far away since I’d already have a husband posse to accompany me. Yeah, I need someone who would make life fun and who could take my cares away with his support for me.
I’m not sure how I’ll feel about things after I’m done with my program next September when I’ll ideally have a job or book tour lol lined up, but as of now I’m thinking that once I’ve hit Asia and ideally have a job I’ll be in more of a position to be in a serious relationship. Not that it couldn’t happen now, but there’s a lot of uncertainty and I still have dreams of travel of my own to fulfill. But once I’ve seen the whole world, and I continue to write on my awesome blogs and discover myself and what I have to offer the world, maybe it’s fair to start making sacrifices for commitments to another person. Who knows what the future will bring, but until I get my degree, that is my first order of business, besides being a good person.
My real family deserves more than just a passing note, and my love for them does complicate the living abroad business, especially after having children. Luckily I don’t yet have a serious relationship or a job lined up abroad so I don’t really need to worry about it at this point though.
So what’s the point of all this introspection then? To reset my internal compass and check in with what I’m telling mystelf I want. On this note I will call myself out on my absurd desire to settle somewhere based off thinking I can’t have the relationship or social network or community involvement I want without it. There is more than a grain of truth to that idea, but I’m not letting it limit me. I hope my true north towards autonomy and being a positive influence through my career, having a happy personal life, and continuing to have rich life experiences will help. And financial security and independence, not to mention that in the shorter term future I hope!
What’s the point of this post again?
Go to where you want to park and there will be a place for you.- found on the internet, a comment on thebettermanproject blog