You know, I’ve driven myself crazy and procrastinated on my economics paper, which wasn’t very good, and ended up not actually changing anything. I’m going to argue that the process taught me a lot. Because human beings like to justify themselves of course.
I’m a self reflective person, and I don’t think this is a bad quality. In some situations where decisive action is called for, it is, and it has its advantages and disadvantages, but ultimately, it is what I am, and I accept it.
I’m also not detail oriented or task oriented. I’m also kind of type B except for the high need for achievement thing. I don’t like to worry about the little things in life and if you need the list checked twice, I’m not your girl. I don’t think of getting things done sequentially, I just worry about the result. Sometimes that doesn’t help me that much, and if I had a little more anxiety I might do better in certain circumstances. I also think I’m secretly a type B person who’s tried her whole life to be an A. I’m just not- I can’t spare the energy to worry about stupid stuff. I just took a quiz and I’m apparently half and half. I just need to see my own motivation for things, but if something’s dumb I can’t be bothered to tell the truth.
I also like novelty and any kind of mental stimulation like no other. I hate being bored and unstimulated. I hate all kinds of repetition, mostly. I’m not attached to routines at all.
It’s true that I change my mind a lot too. I assess all my options, over and over, and sometimes I change. I don’t view many kinds of commitments as binding, although I am against all unethical behavior. I don’t feel bad about changing jobs and I don’t feel bad about not persevering until I find something worth persevering for and want to persevere. Perseverance is rewarding and being a dilettante is not so I’m sure I’ll find my way there soon enough.
I am following my path, that’s for sure. My career counselor said every strength is a weakness and every weakness is a strength.That place is in the sun is going to find me, and I’ll know what to do when I get there.