Talking to people about life plans for the future and the experiences that have brought me to where I am today (hope that doesn’t sound like a super pretentious statement), I’m struck by the distinction I tend to make between the way things actually turned out and the way I planned. I feel like I do this because I’m pretty happy now and would like to remind myself that this somehow redeems my past sufferings, maybe, and as a message to others to be open. I’m actually really happy with the way things did turn out graduating from college during the Great Recession and unable to find a real job. I’ve had some pretty awesome life experiences instead, though I hope in the future I will be able to continue to do this in a way that’s slightly more financially stable.
The life I’ve lived, no matter how far from what I’ve planned, is the real me. What I wanted for myself is not the way the world has shaped me to become, and really those plans just show how much I’ve evolved but sholdn’t define how I see myself now. I should be humble for the unlikely awesome stuff that’s come my way, but there’s no reason to stress how i wish things were, or how I did wish things were or some such thing. I guess all human beings want to get our first choice all the time and have the sensation of control over your life and destiny, which is certainly true but doesn’t mean that we have conplete control either. There’s definitely complex factors coming into play, especially our secret desires.
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longings…
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through.
All Disney songs aside, I definitely think I’ve been learning it’s a Whole New World out there. I’m not te person I expected to be, and haven’t had the life I’ve expected to have.
Not to mention, I’m not likely to really be able to plan my whole future now either. Getting an MBA won’t make me that much of a master of the universe witha poetic side (lol). Certainly I will have choices but that doesn’t know I can predict exactly where they’ll take me. I’m actually pretty okay with that, provided they take me somewhere better than I could have imagined. AS THEY HAVE UP TO NOW! WOOOO
Seriously for the most part I’m a happy camper. The only thing that really bothers me about the life as eternal adventure model is how can you rbing someone into a life that’s not really solid? Especially if both you and the person are like that? Can you folow your dreams even if you are in love?
I do hope that’s true, and something in my gut says yes.
Anyway, this is my real life, my real emerging career, my real almost boyfriend thingy. This is who I am right now, not the person that I thought I wanted to be. And also, not what I project for my future. God, I love the dynamic world we live in, and adventures! I just want those adventures to start producing my masterpiece, although maybe they have been the whole time if not in a tangible way.
So I leave you for tonight, my lovelies. On a prety optimistic note I’d say.
Be who you are, not who you wish you’d been.
Introduce yourself proud of what you’ve actually achieved.
Live for today!!! Don’t be afraid of tomorrow, however unplanned, either, or the past that no longer defines you. Don’t be sad and afraid and bitter of dreams that haven’t come true- yet- when so many wonderful things have fallen together. Better than you could ever have planned or imagined.
Hello, my name is, and this is my life.
Lve you all!