First of all, I want to emphasize health. From the inside out. Mental, physical, spiritual, financial. I’ve noticed there are some habits and patterns that are holding me back, and if I don’t change them, they will never change! I am 24 years old and will turn 25 in October. If I can focus on some big life changing wins now when I’m young, I won’t have to lug these patterns into the rest of my life with me. And while change is possible at anytime, I hear it’s best when you are young. Besides, why would I want to live another day with these things weighing me down, and might as well start since it will take patience to create lasting new and better habits.
Sure, enlightenment comes in a moment, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. I guess we can add lasting behavioral change and lifestyle patterns to the topics typically covered on my blog.
[In the past I’ve come up with all kinds of complicated strategems and enjoyed devising systems to lose ten pounds, not procrastinate on a project, etc. I feel like the only time I’ve ever succeeding in behavioral change was when I knew what I wanted to do and why, the motivation came from within me. Sure, I hear that sometimes you have to do things even though you aren’t motivated and that motivation comes later, but for me, I always like to have a why. So I’ll probably be spending a lot of time on here musing about both why I want to change, why I need to change, and most of all, why I’ve created/contributed to this pattern in the first place, as well as some ideas about how, taking into account how I am, honestly, and what I really think will or won’t work for me, as I am]
1. De-complex food and wellness to be HEALTHY. Seriously, I don’t want to overeat forever, and while I feel attractive now, I know I would feel better about myself if I was healthier in my day to day habits.. I think my curvy body is attractive and definitely does attract people, but even when I’ve had a dude who seemed to love all my curves, I still feel like I have work to do. Not to change my appearance necessarily, though I do want to fit back into my skinny jeans and be done with the holiday bulge. I want to know, when I look in the mirror, this is what healthy me looks like. I don’t want to make it about weight, or even body fat percentage. Those changes are just going to be side effects of a focus on a better lifestyle. Losing 10 pounds is just not enough motivation, and I just don’t find it to be a worthy goal. I have so much to say about food and diets and everything, so more to come on this. I do want to change my habits, and honestly, I wouldn’t mind losing 10 pounds. But what I want more is to be a healthy person so I can live a long and meaningful life uncomplicated by health problems I could have avoided by taking care of myself. I don’t want eating a cookie or not to be a matter of “sin” and “cheating” and “do I really care how I look in that bikini? Do I really want to attract that guy who doesn’t like me as I am now?” I want to think about whether its good for my body and appropriate in that context to eat. So probs not going vegan or anything, but with any luck and a lot of effort, the diet coke habit is on its way out.
2. Clear your mind, and the rest will follow. I want to work on worrying less, letting less of my precious energy go to anxiety, and being able to be more present in my relationships with others because I am healthy and grounded myself. I just want to de-complex everything, especially in love and relationships. Even if I decide it’s worth it to go see a shrink, I just want to feel healthy and sane and whole. Sure, human life has its ups and downs, and I do think most of the time I’m quite healthy, but I don’t want to let the negative thought patterns get me down. To this end, I will also employ yoga, exercise, and meditation, but the goal is just “sound mind, sound body.” And to not let my mind’s clutteredness affect my life negatively. I think this blog has been a huge help, but there’s still some stuff to clean out.
3. Be organized, a least a bit more so. I don’t want to be a mess, I don’t want to have cluttered surroundings, even though I feel comfortable in chaos. I want to manage my possessions, time, and everything better. As much as it really doesn’t bother me to have things out of place, and I do often like to fly by the seat of my pants a little, it does affect my life for the negative. I’m ok with living in controlled chaos and I don’t plan to have things look like a magazine, but I do need a bit more discipline in this arena to make my life simpler and calmer.
4. Financial health and literacy. I am young, I have a ton of college and graduate school debt, and I need to just get things under control. I don’t plan to become a miser, but I do want to manage what little money I do have. I don’t plan on not spending money, but spending it more wisely. And most of all, I want to get a good job that will enable me to live the kind of middle class lifestyle I want. I’m not looking for a yacht, but I do want to be able to pay my bills comfortably. I want to know my credit score, figure out all my student loan options, etc. This doesn’t mean I won’t potentially take out a bit more student loan money so I can float a month or two of trying to settle in Paris, or that I won’t go on excursions and make the most of my time in Asia, however, I just want to be conscious of what I am doing. And as much as I want to find meaning and fulfillment in my career, I want to be aware of my financial reality and make good long term decisions. On a day to day basis I probably won’t focus on this all that much, but just managing money better and thinking about all my student loan stuff ahead of time is something worth doing that I can start on now, before even seriously looking for a job. The job hunt, or rather, getting the position I want created for me, is certainly a big part of this, and ideally, I’d like to be completely financially independent by 25 and have a sustainable amount of income coming in.
That’s it for now, time to eat dinner with my family. But I’m really excited to get these thoughts down and get things underway!
A la prochaine,