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It seems to me that sometimes you just have to trust the Hand of God a little. Especially for the big, scary, hairy, important questions in life. Especially when it comes to dating- you can’t worry too much, you can’t take it too seriously, because the Man Upstairs is in charge.

And you don’t know how things will work themselves out, or how Ted meets the mother.

Sometimes I feel so sad and wistful, angry and distraught, depressed and hopeless, thinking of the “one (s) that got away” or the “timing” that wasn’t right. I used to think it was just about people being cowards, or not wanting love enough, or just not caring for each other enough.  Now, I think there’s something bigger going on, and even though I don’t know what it is, I know this much.

What you give is what you get. Give love, and it will be returned to you 100 fold. Maybe not from the person that you think you want, or in the way that you think, but somehow, it will find its way back to you. Tis better to give than it is to receive.

Not to mention, there are lessons learned and new selves remade every time a heart is broken. That doesn’t mean it’s all about self improvement and necessary suffering, however.

But if you accept things as they are in good measure, are willing to make a *ss out of yourself from time to time, at least you will be going after what you want. However foolish it might seem to others.  And remember, the quest for the love of another is not the most important thing. Your own love and respect are what’s really essentially, because aint no validation like your own.

Decided to get back in touch with somebody I felt very rejected from a while ago but who I always respected, and felt like really got me. Of course, I’m afraid I’m going to  go crazy thinking about him and wondering if it can be and not just enjoying the connection that is there, warm from the inside like hot chocolate.

I believe that fate is kind.  And that she will bring me something even better than what I longed for.

 

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