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“What is this so-called ‘real life’ anyway? Is it a cushy office job – sitting through the daylight hours in front of a computer; or walking between the sanitized aisles of a supermarket; or making small talk at a dinner party? I would suggest that it is actually in our daily lives that we are most shielded from the ‘real world’. We hide behind the seeming order of a routine…. It is the numbing day-to-day career-centric routine which is the illusion.” Mystery Tramp

What is real?

“What is truth?” Pontius Pilate

“Life doesn’t need a meaning; it is a purpose in itself,” French proverb, courtesy of 5 day half French/ half Belgian Congo colonist boyfriend

There’s a lot of debate over what real life is, and a lot of it has to do with work. Because work=life=identity, right? Housewives don’t “work,” teachers only teach, and anyone that does something artistic or creative that’s not popular and rich enough for a reality show doesn’t count as being in the real world either.

Today, I vented to someone that I felt insecurity for never having a real, salaried nine to five job, that I had only taken care of children.

Sometimes I feel frustrated that I haven’t started my real life yet.  But what else have I been doing, breathing away like this?

The fact that my life is in flux, totally uncertain, that I’ve lived and loved and lost and loved again, that I am a little bit alone in the universe but always connected, that I don’t have all the answers, does have a lot to do with being human- a live one. I am happy and sad and angry and afraid and caring and joyful and free. And alive.

Life is not a love story. It is not a travelogue.


It is not what people think about you, or even how you make them feel.

It is not conforming, it is not sticking it to the man, it is not putting up with misery now for future rewards.

It is adventure. It is routine. It is learning.

It is summer, winter, fall, spring, or maybe just desert or California.  It is growing and dying.

It is being.

It is doing.

But most of all, it is always and everywhere in the process of BECOMING.

Life is breathing in and breathing out, and everything that comes in between.

And real life, well, that can only happen if you are being real.

“I just found out there’s no such thing as the real world, just a lie you’ve got to rise above.” John Mayer