So despite the fact that I study business and management now and in the past have studied government and history, i find myself blogging essentially about my personal life, travel, and spirituality. Also sometimes my quest to be a better and healthier person. And every now and then, when the mood strikes, I write some poetry.
I’ve kind of wanted to write a blog on my serious policy ideas to change the world for a while now, but I’ve never gotten up to it. I’ve also thought about getting a PhD in political science and working in the policy field (which I have actually done), yet I find that these subjects seem like a distraction from the larger issues- how it all affects the individual. I care about the macro only because of how it impacts the personal. I think all this theory on a good society and virtue and everything all comes down to how people live the day to day lives and the choices they have. And so as I struggle to make my own, I see myself as a microcosm of the larger social climate in which I find myself, and often disagree with.yet, there’s no perfect society, and no perfect life or perfect person. SOmetimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were born elsewhere- therein lies the whole fascination of travel. Seeing the macrocosm as a little blip on the radar, just passing through.
And also therein lies the fascination with education- change a mind, change a society. Could/should be seen as a fairly ambitious undertaking.
So yeah, trying to figure out my next step, and what it will mean for my life. Also what it would mean for my future if I decide to fall in love with someone totally different from me in terms of culture, except for the speaking French and western influence on everything thing. I don’t really know where the affinity lies, but I was warmer when he was around. Not really sure if we can be close without being physically close, and not being committed. It seems to me like it would be possible with the cooperation of the parties, and a willingness to be vulnerable. Right now saying yes to life though consists of saying yes to Philly and not only of my desire to go back to France.
It’s all about what to do for a living and how and where to build a life and what is my purpose. Super serious stuff. Maybe I do need to learn to laugh a little. And get over the seeming crisis with my dude who probably thinks it’s no big we haven’t talked in 2 weeks, or really talked in like a month. People say its good to let go, but honestly trying to hold on is a bigger adventure, because it involves another person. And essentially involves two people who are not fully committed either. That’s real extra unknown territory.
Is being lonely and missing someone a good reason to be with them? Or to reach out? Shouldn’t they fit the items on the checklist. Shouldn’t you have a reason other than warmth? SHouldn’t you have some kind of mutual destination in mind?
Nobody ever said it would be easy, you just have to keep on pluggin and chugging along cuz it’s worth it. Yet the joy is supposed to be in the journey!