, , , , , , ,

I once wrote a post about Wings vs Roots before going to France this fall. I was deciding about how and when to choose a career and, more importantly, a location. I was worried I would never have the close relationships I wanted if I stayed abroad too long and became too different. I was worried about the loneliness of freedom.

The truth is, I choose wings.

I already am rooted in things much deeper than the soil of my native land. The love of my family, of my true friends, and the values that haven’t changed with exposure to the elements nad the four corners of he world.

I’ll never find myself, but now I accept responsibility for creating myself. And finding myself under all the layers of illusion and bs of the person I thought I was supposed to be was just the first time. But I will never find a steady, unchanging self- except for that which is made out of pure love.

I wanted to find a role to fill, instead of being my own person.

I wanted to see the limitations, so I could predict the future and live according to my past. Now, I just want to discover the present, and let the “rules” of what’s limiting me dissolve away.

I don’t really want to know what happens next.

I think I actually prefer figuring it out as I go along.

I might be more attracted to risky ventures than stable ones. I might just have a little bit of explorer and adventurer in me. But most of all, I want to advance- in the direction of my heart.

Which seems, for the moment, to be in France. But I won’t know probably until I’ve gone to Asia.  Or am willing to make a commitment to something.

It’s time to go into free fall, and see where I land. Or rather, fly!