I’ve beat myself up a lot of times for all the goals I haven’t achieved. [Why haven’t I gotten around to cleaning, organizing, losing weight, and all those other things on the list? Why haven’t I become a trapeze artist, published author, non profit founder, multi-millionaire? Why am I not doing better than everyone around me? Shouldn’t I at least be doing the best I can with what I have? I should have done so much more by now]
Somehow recently, I haven’t felt the need to spend hours in self-reflection and writing/ have been too busy to do so.
I spent the last two months just kind of going through the motions, but the last three days I’ve actually been happy.
All I needed was a worthy goal.
I spent a lot of time thinking about what that might mean, about balancing many different considerations, trying to find a compromise between what I actually want and what I think I want, and you know, what I can actually do.
I’ve chosen to believe the sky is the limit, with the grace of God.
Well, you know what? The balancing act is over. I’m just going to do something I think will make me happy. Like, make me feel good. I don’t really have any logical justification for it, and like most things involving feelings, I can’t even tell you it really will make me happy. But somehow, just striving has made me be a little more conscientious about other things along the way, because I was happy and did see a bigger meaning.
Me, happy in Philadelphia? I must be on to something here.
When you’re beating yourself for not achieving something, maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s the goal. Maybe you don’t want it bad enough or try hard enough because it’s just not worth it to you.
But I’ll give you a hint- worthy goals don’t depend on recognition from others, having other people understand, and won’t necessarily arouse anyone’s envy. You will probably have to work harder, there will be no easy way, and you might have a lot of inner resistance just admit what you want.
But admit away- there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s ok to want to be happy above all. Whatever that means for you, as long as it doesn’t mean unhappiness for someone else.
…And sometimes worthy goals take a long time and a lot of soul-searching to find for many, and also take a lot of patience and perseverance to accomplish. However, that’s what passion is for!
And to a certain extent, the joy really is in the case, if you really want what you are aiming towards. But want to actually succeed! Want it, believe you it’s worth doing, and go do it. Even if it seems impossible, if it’s your heart’s wish its worth pursuing, and if it’s really your heart’s wish you’ll be able to do a lot.
So folks, good night and good luck.
Best of luck finding and following your dreams (hint: look within!)