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I like the word splendor.

Anyway, I thought about my old German literature professor yesterday, and how he was still so overjoyed to be teaching literature and asking the big questions of life with his students and going over possibly many of the same authors. He felt so much wonder and gratitude at being the son of a milkman who went on to read German for a living.

I bet some days office politics of academia got to him, and students just didn’t get it, and he wanted to tell the newly revised MLA style guide where to shove it.

I’m pretty sure my parents actually like being parents, for which I’m eternally grateful. They went out and got a puppy pretty much as soon as their last kid left the house. Sure, he’s cute, btu he also chews everything and you need to take him out at night even when it’s cold. Somehow, they put up with him, and actually seem to love him.  I wonder how they felt about changing my poopy diapers.  Sometimes I imagine they look back on that and smile in comparison to the current challenge of helping the rocket ship of my life seemingly get off the ground, or at least lift my spirits from time to time. I’m not depressed, but sometimes i’m just a twenty something.

Sometimes I’m pretty wonderful too, and I think I already am a success.

And I think about this stupid guy, and how stupid he is, and how different I wish he was, and how I knew what was going to happen, and how I wish I knew more about him, and how annoying he is, and how different he is from any of my expectations, but sometimes it seems like he could be everything I hoped for.  I’m not ready to marry him, but as much as having him in my life seems so difficult and complciated sometimes, I still want him there. And I realize now that there will be NO relationship or dating experience without its challenges, and my fantasies are just that. But maybe I kinda sorta do love him anyway. Just a little bit.

So when you’re looking for love, know when you’ve found it.

It doesn’t mean life will be perfect or beautiful or roses all the time, and it will never be perfect. Or maybe it already is.

Life will be life, work will be work, puppies will be puppies, kids will be kids, and guys will be guys (oo that doesn’t sound quite right), but love them anyway. And don’t question this beautiful, complex, incredible life too much. Don’t think to yourself “It is what it is,” think, “ahh wow!”

 

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