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I’m actually scared pretty much shitless sometimes of the fact that I really could fall for this guy who comes from a far away land and has a different religion and I have no idea what his real attitudes towards women are, except he has treated me pretty well.

It’s pretty easy to think you might love someone at a distance where you have lots of time to miss them, not enough time to relax because of school work, and they don’t have any time to have the chance to be annoying.

But maybe all humans are annoying sometimes.

I tend to see people as humans, though I’m not perfect and can’t say I’ve never felt a stereotype in my life, and since I like to travel, I’m assuming my chances of ending up in a cross-cultural relationship are pretty high.

I guess it takes all the same ingredients as a regular relationship, but a little bit of extra chutzpah and some cross-cultural competence to boot. A strong sense of self, and a keen appreciation for that which is other.

I think I could do it. But the question is, is it “worth” it? Especially when your eharmony ideal match could be out there somewhere nad theoretically never cause any cross cultural conflicts on top of the normal challenges of being in a relationship? Because that perfect person is totally out there somewhere and why make life hard when there’s got to be something easier out there.

Well, maybe there could be, but is it worth it?

Not when his arms are around you and that’s all that really matters anyway? Or when they are not and you just want that and don’t lose too much sleep pining for Mr Perfect or playing the field?

I’m kind of afraid of being in a relationship (not that that’s about to happen anytime soon with this guy, do to geography). I’m extra afraid of just not being able to understand the other person, or speack their mother tongue, or not be the girl they could ever see themselves marrying. And it being a little too early to really talk about that, or so it feels. But underneath it all I’m jealous of that girl that just has more in common with him, at least for the way he was born and raised, than I ever will. And maybe I’ll never understand him, and he’ll never get me, and secretly he’s judging me and my culture. And maybe I shouldn’t trust someone I don’t understand that well or something like that?  And it’s all my fault for ignoring conventional wisdom if things don’t “work out” or I get hurt?

And maybe this kind of is what it is, and I’ll just have to go with the flow.

And if I end up really loving him, well, I’ll just have to develop what it takes for love to conquer all. And if that’s not a shared personal value with him, it will be tough luck.

And maybe I just think too much and should just have a little faith. It’s a small world after all and we’re all wishing on the same stars and loving with the same kind of hearts.

Namaste,

MJ

So long as you are praised, think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.”

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