It seems I’ve gotten a little bit childish and impatient recently. I’m just tired. I keep asking, “Are we there yet?” And sometimes, I just want to know that I’ll end up where I’d most like to be. Even though sometimes, that just seems like so much to ask of life.
There are times I worry that I embarked on the totally wrong journey, and that’s what the path is so hard. I try very hard to follow my bliss, albeit in contact with the world to an extent, and it doesn’t feel all that blissful. In fact, sometimes the bliss is just dispersed in a way that it’s not really even clear where to follow at all. I guess I can’t complan too much, cause I have found a fair bit of mine, but still, it’s not easy advice to take. Not every decision immediately becomes simple- the mind always likes to complicate things.
And that’s why I think that the path itself is so rich in gifts. We learn not to look back, to keep pushing forward, and when to stop and catch our breaths. We learn how many people love us, near and far, and how love crosses all distances. We figure out that most places, at their core, are not so different, and that people everywhere are the same, but somehow that doesn’t stop us from traveling anyway.
And the interior journey, well, that’s just a part of the road. But definitely the hardest. Man, how many stumbling blocks really exist, outside of those in your mind? 99% of my troubles are caused solely by me. I have much more troble with the problems I create for myself than I do with those that actually exist.
Probably the most important lesson is that even though it seems every inch of the path is hard-won, there are so many surprises, so many treats you did nothing special to deserve. And how there are people that help you out just when you think you can’t go on. It’s amazing how wonderful people can be. It really makes you think how we are all here by the grace of God and helping each other out. That’s the thing- all the real delights are gifts, not things even our blood sweat and tears could earn.
It’s exciting to dream of the destination. Anticipation is a wonderful appetizer. And it’s great to wonder what lies beyond the barricade, and to get curious and engaged in something outside yourself. There can be a lot of confusion over the path, but the way you feel about reaching the goal is quite real.
I wish you all luck on your journeys! Thank you for joining me on mine!