This is so going to be the theme song of the prochain etape of my life, I pray.
I don’t think things would feel so wrong, when I take the time to feel them, if I really believed I had followed my heart.
So often in life it seems like a war between your heart and your brain, when your brain is more often just an alibi for protecting your ego. And trying to be in control of everything, but in order to not look stupid.
Right now, in some ways, i don’t look that stupid. But I do feel really stupid, on the inside.
I feel like I forgot what I wanted to be when I grew up, because of course, I was in such a hurry to grow up.
And now that I’m growing up, I just don’t want the life I had planned.
Which might even be within my reach, to an extent.
But no, I don’t care as much about things that seemed so important, and there’s a lot more on my list of “let go and let God,” which I think is all to the good.
However, I like many humans, think I’m so smart. In fact, I thought my brain could outsmart my heart, and my heart wouldn’t know the difference bewen iit (the brain) made me do something practical, and expected my heart to just get used to it, and refind it”s happiness. Thing is, this caused my heart to take note of a lot of information that had previously slipped under the radar before. The everyday little twinges just seemed so much more urgent after that big decision, which in the scheme of things isn’t taht much but for me it was a momnet that I’m not such Id be proud to have define me.
So where I am now is trying to let my heart speak to me again, since I know with God’s help I can accomplish anthing I set my mind to. That is to say, I make sure the mind is the servant while the heart and soul of me is the master , the part that’s kind of closest to the diffvine.
But in any case, I don’t just want to be “rational” in terms of society’s reasons all my life. Sometimes I feel like such a hypocite.
Mow what wtill we roll sout soem potatoes crunchy cheap with asparagus was it and then cake?
Who knows? the point is tha sometimes I feel like I coul drule the oworld, and other times I think I’m happy for their to be a good chilef, because I myself anm just well, crazy.
Behiovaral economists talk all about how people’s behavior changes in strategic peices too, right? Anyway, they talk about how people’s logic is constrained, we are baffled by chocies in many cases, and yeah, we have some prety low brow decisionmaking trips built in.
The concept of the bounds to rationality come from everything that steps life from being reasonable.
So how to make a decision? Weigh the pros and cons, yes, but follow your heart. Life is so short. Don’t fill it to the brim with shoulds. And sometimes, just keep on keeping on, when completing the task itself has become more important than the object of what you’re doing anyway, right?
So yes, no worries.
Or rather, worry but only over maning ful things.
Because this time I’m not goingt o put my life on the stock market of the court of puyblic opino, orf trying to be everything they want to be. Of course I’m goign to use my heard and discrition in this, what is teher eto saY?
I’m not going to be bounded by human rationality anymore I hope, and beyond being a monster robot automoton, I’ll become something that actually mkes a difference, creates chanfe, and actually deals withall the emotional mess of life. You’ve come a long way baby.
So life. Hello. I know it’s been a while. But no, it’s not about where I’ve beeb, but where I am, and ultimately where I’m going.
Life is good.