A new year is beginning, and this year is end. It’s been an exciting one for me. I have accomplished a lot:
Moved to France
Succeeded in my first professional job:
1) in a very French company
1.1- in a huge company- previously I had only worked at organizations of about 500 people
2) working internationally from France
3) working in a new industry
4) working in a new career path in business- previously I had done politics and teaching
Found a job function I really like- marketing communications
Made my French practically perfect
Visited 3 new countries- Czech Republic, Germany, and Greece
Saw the Parthenon and Acropolis, as well as the islands of Kefalonia and Mykonos
Crossed Prague off my bucket list
Saw the Christmas markets of Cologne, Germany
Went on a cruise for the first time
Extended my contract- a sure sign of doing a good job
In Italy, visited Trieste and Venice
In France, visited Lyon, Aix-en-Provence, Marseille, and Cassis
Visited countless sights of Paris
Saw “An AMerican in Paris” as a musical performed in Theatre du Chatelet
Met countless people of different origins
Successfully went to CrossFit at least once per week often more
Had a few lighthearted romp
Attended masked costume ball at Versailles
Recovered from a sprained ankle and coped with living in a 7 floor walkup, without many friends and no family able to help, no insurnace coverage nor sick pay (getting this reimbursed is a work in progress)
Went to the emergency room in France and handled everything
Got my company to pay for a training in London next month
Wrote many, many blog posts
Got articles published in professional womens’ magazine
Let go of two old love interests, one of which I thought would be the love of my life, the other I thought would at least be my boyfriend when I got back to Paris
Did a cleanse, did not stixk with it for the entire time but learned enough to realize I needed to change my ways
DRASTICALLY REDUCED INTAKE OF DIET SODA- this is huge! I still drink diet soda sometimes in some settings but nothing like I did in the past
developed a liking for sparkling mineral water and dramatically increased daily water consumption
Realized finally that all the processed shit, especially sugary things, really isn’t good for me. Gave up my standby candy bar and other destructive habits
Recognized resistance to self care and self defeating patterns and cleared the path for real change
So, what is my intention for 2015?
This doesn’t just mean geting massages ad going to the gym, this means making good financial choices, spending time with people who are good for me, and not being so hard on myself. It means reaching out for help when I need it and giving myself credit for all that I do.
But what is the conclusion really of 2015? Of all the hemming and hawing over whether I had made the right decision in this or that case? Was it a mistake to move to France? Was it a mistake to leave France during b school? Did I waste years on someone who didn’t love me back?
The truth is that moving to France was a great decision and in accordance with my true values of beauty, balance, and adventure. I love France. It has its problems but the fact that it’s not perfect and I have faced unexpected challenges does not mean I was a fool to move there.
Regarding love, I’m as entitled to make some mistakes as the next person. I didn’t willfully hurt anyone, and though I deluded myself for a long time, I eventualy let go of people who didn’t belong in my life.
ANd I’ve been able to make peace with my desire for love and for a life fulfilled in many ways. I know that when I meet this guy, he’s not going to complete me and he will be the icing on the cake of an already fulfilling life.
I’m not a horrible person for leaving my family and living in France either. I probably have spent more quality time with them and been more emotionally available.
France is nto my only dream, but it is a good dream and I’m incredibly blessed and proudof myself that I have accomplished it. I’m happy therean dFrance is teaching me a lot. It’s not always about accomplishing the most possible, sometimes it’s about stopping to enjoy life- which in trn fuels more meaningful accomplishments and makes sense of things.
So that’s the conclusion I have come to after going into uncharted territory. I made the right decision to go on an adventure, and I look forward to many new adventures in the future, not least of which is self-care, love of myself and others, and appreciating the present moment ad France.