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When love finds me, I will not be perfect. I will be a work in progress. I will not have figured out everything I want from life. I will be liable to being changed by love, to having my life’s path altered profoundly.

When loves finds me, my apartment might not be clean, and my legs might not be shaved. I might have eaten garlic earlier in the day.

When love finds me, I probably won’t be sure of what kind of marriage ceremony I want, exactly what religion I identify with, or where I want to live for the rest of my life, or what I want to do.

When love finds me, despite all my wisdom and adventures  and courage and values, I will be a blank canvas for love to write on. I will not be the same person after having loved and been loved.

When love finds me, I won’t be able to predict where I’ll be in five or ten years. I will be the same free spirit, if not made freer by time and maturity.

When love finds me, I will not be a virgin physically, but I will be a virgin in all the ways that matter.  I will have never have known the gentle touch or passionate penetration of mature love with a kind, gentle man who appeals to my wiser self, and I will tremble in anticipation and trepidation. I will be innocent, I will be vulnerable.

When love finds me, I will not know for sure if and when I want children. I will not know if I am to be a nomad or a sedentary soul. I will not know what lands I will dwell in for the remainder of my days.

When love finds me, I won’t know how much money I will make in the next year, or my lifetime future earning potential, or how many careers I have, or when I’ll be able to afford to retire, or if I even want to.

When love finds me, even the past will not be solid- it will be a story I have revised a thousand times and will relearn a million more. The songs I sang as a child will not be as sacred as the songs I’ll sing to our children, and my mother tongue won’t be as important as the person I have chosen, and will choose in the future, to be.

When love finds me, I’ll have found the present moment, because that’s the only place we will ever meet, for a day or a month or sixty years, for eternity or for an hour.

When love finds me, it will take all the courage of leaving my home country and to lay a cornerstone on a piece of land that speaks to me and decide, upon this rock I will build my life.

When love finds me, I will know that nothing is solid, everything is air and empty, but fraught with the meaning we give it; that I am me is an illusion, yet somehow in some non-dualistic way,. “we” will be the only true word ever spoken.

 

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