It’s been a while. Life has been mostly pretty great since I recovered from the parasite I caught in India. I feel less fearful and down and conservative.
I’m back to Buddhist meditation and I love the sangha and I really feel good in buddhism, so I am going to stick with it. I am ok with he fact this makes me perhaps not very Catholic at all or just a very unorthodox Catholic that at least believes in the Beatitudes if nothing else, but I’ am trying ot get over the guilt thing.
Secondly I am working on a travel blog, I feel inspired to write and create and I am really excited abou tlife again. I’m still getting things in order but wow, I truly do feel like a new person.
Being perfectly honest, I do want to take a sabbatical and just fuck off and see where life takes me, I don’t care that much about moving up in a big corporate organization, and I do want to choose my job based off the experiences it gives me and feeling excited to go there in the morning.
I love the people at my job and my job itself is not so bad, but I came back to work after a week with my family and I again felt not quite dread but reluctance telling me there’s more to life and I need to do more to align with my deepest values.
And yes, if I can let go of status and hierarchy and comfort to an extent, I can do amazing things a bit outside the norm, which is where I want to explore anyway. I have given corporate life a chance, it’s not too bad, bu tthere is a whole lot more I can give the world.