Since my mood is 1000% better now and I finally feel like I”ve gotten out of my funk and am even more happy and resilient from before, I’d like to share some things I’ve learned.
Finding joy in life is all about the little pleasures and realizing the gift it is to be alive, and to be alive as yourself living your life.
Imagine you were just born a second ago. What would seem incredible to you?
Imagine you were going to die in a few minutes. What would you pay attention to? What would you notice? What would you revel in one last time?
Both of these premises are completely true. Each moment is completely new, and each moment will never come again, when it it is gone it’s gone.
As a wise hostel manager in the south of France once explained to me, “The same thing may happen again, but it will never happen in exactly the same way, in the same circumstances, with the same people.” So checking people into their rooms was an adventure for him every time, no matter how many travellers or tourists he’d seen of that sort, no matter hwo many times he showed them how the door code worked.
Don’t just live like you are dying; live like you are newborn.
Faith for me has meant that I choose to see the future as a field of possibility, not threats. It means I have faith that there is something higher than me, that there is some sense even if I can’t see it. Obviously, I have no proof of this idea, but it does change how you perceive life.
And faith in yourself is also life changing. THe feeling that I, with the grace of God, will deal with anything that comes my way, is a powerful one.
I have tended to worry far too much about external circumstances permitting X, Y, or Z to happen as I plan. Getting rid of the plan is also important- admitting there is an intelligence higher than yours and having faith in order to improvise is key. Life is more like jazz than classical music at some moments. We need to have faith to look within and above, and see the stars shining down on us instead of just wondering, O, why me? when we get papercuts.
The key to happiness is about 99.999% getting rid of your expectations. Very often, we set goals and conditions under which we will be happy. WHen I attain X, I will be happy is a common formula. But what we fail to realize is that even if the outcome has been Y, and not X, we can still be happy! I don’t know about you, but very few things have turned out according to my expectations. THe college I went to and ended up loving and that opened many doors for me, both literally and figuratively, was actually the list on the list. I sent in an application at the last minute because it wasn’t too much trouble. I ended up getting a shcolarship, and the rest is history.
The first time I cam eto Paris, I wasn’t really impressed. I wasn’t really impressed the second time either. But the third time was a chram, even as I reassured my mother that there was nothing too special about it, it was just a big French city, no longer the center o the world. But now ti is the center of mine.
One of the main reasons I haven’t yet found love is due to my long standing unwillingness to let go of expectations. He must be tall, barrel chested, weigh more than me….already very hard criteria to fill in France! Now there’s nothing wrong with liking what you like, but maybe the reason you want that is because you are not comfortable with yourself- or maybe it’s just what you like. But yeah, I htink that being inflexible in my demands has probably played a role.
On the other hand, I am happy with my life now though I would like to be iwth a a special someone, enough so that I would let go of some of my preconceptions (though not core values) of what I want.
There’s nothing wrong with having specific ideas about what you want, but when it doesn’t exist, or something that’s not technically what you wanted works just as well if not better and you are still not adapting, that’s a moment where you are choosing nto to be happy.
Case in point- I thought I wanted a studio in one neighborhood, and it would cost a lot and I dind’t think I could do it. SO I was willing to stay with the status quo. And then, just recently I started looking into flat shares in different neighborhoods, and it turns out there may be more than one way to get a bigger apartment closer to the city center at a reasonable price! And maybe I will make a lifelong friend in the process, or just have osmeone to motivate me not to leave dirty dishes in the sink! Could be killing a few birds with one stone, but just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, my current apartment is pretty nicely decorated, so there’s that 😉
So chillax and enjoy your Saturday!
About to go to the hairdresser- hope I can keep an open mind and take my own advice!