A screaming silence-

I am deaf to love.


The dragon and the castle

Protecting and hiding me.

A moat, where demons lurk undisturbed.

A self loathing hunger-

It gluts on the hope and fear of perfection.


A shield, a wall.

My tower, safe and high.

I sing and I cry, unheard.


It keeps the Lover out,

Flagellating me with delusional hope

It lies in wait,

Ready to consume him when he comes.


A dark cold night with no dawn nor surprise,

A pit with no end, a free fall of pain and shame.


I’m totally wild,

Dancing as I fall-

The gift of isolation.


Night after night, dashed against moonlit rocks,

A black ocean, gorgeous and lethal, drowns me sweetly.


A cool refuge in a boiling world,

An oasis undiscovered,

a desert that goes to infinity.


This is where I miss you.