A screaming silence-
I am deaf to love.
The dragon and the castle
Protecting and hiding me.
A moat, where demons lurk undisturbed.
A self loathing hunger-
It gluts on the hope and fear of perfection.
A shield, a wall.
My tower, safe and high.
I sing and I cry, unheard.
It keeps the Lover out,
Flagellating me with delusional hope
It lies in wait,
Ready to consume him when he comes.
A dark cold night with no dawn nor surprise,
A pit with no end, a free fall of pain and shame.
I’m totally wild,
Dancing as I fall-
The gift of isolation.
Night after night, dashed against moonlit rocks,
A black ocean, gorgeous and lethal, drowns me sweetly.
A cool refuge in a boiling world,
An oasis undiscovered,
a desert that goes to infinity.
This is where I miss you.